Do You Give In To Your Fears?
Do you let your fears and insecurities keep you from going after the things you want for your life?
One of the biggest mistakes working women make is letting their fears keep them from being true to their highest values and most important goals. When you get all wrapped up in your worries, insecurities and fears, you blind yourself to your values, your purpose and your goals. You choose to let your fears “upstage” everything else. You get so busy wrestling with your negative emotions that you don’t have any energy left for positive action. Giving in to your fears makes it impossible to go after your goals. I would like to offer the following excerpt from my upcoming book (This Is Your Life: No Apology Needed) to help you put your fears in their proper place!
What Does It Mean To Give In To Your Fears?
Many of the women in my survey said they didn’t even try for their goals because they were afraid they would fail, or afraid they would run out of money, or afraid of what others would think. Instead of letting their dreams fire them up for action, they let their fears melt them down into passivity.
Letting Your Fears Overshadow Your Career
Marie told me she had always wanted to be a writer but she was afraid she would never be able to support herself financially. So she took a steady-paying job with a graphic arts firm designing commercial signage. For seven long years she felt restless and unfulfilled. She knew she had only one life to live and she was mad at herself for turning her back on what she really wanted to do. She finally mustered the courage to exchange her full-time job for a part-time job so she could start writing three hours a day. She was able to support herself by cutting down on her expenses and supplementing her income with money she had saved over the years. Her work is still in progress, but she is now excited to get up in the morning and she looks forward to each day!
Dottie was another professional working woman who let her fears get in her way. In her early twenties, Dottie was a successful saleswoman for a topnotch kitchen supply company. For years she wanted to break away and start her own business. But she felt trapped in her job because she was afraid she wouldn’t attract enough customers to be successful on her own. So she decided to start taking baby steps toward her goal while still holding onto her job. She used her spare time to learn as much as she could about e-business and computers, and to her surprise she built a booming business from her own home! Now, at age thirty-eight, she is in a position to retire and travel the world. Between the Bahamas and Paris, she is already off to a great start.
Letting Your Fears Overshadow Your Values
Walt Disney once said, “All our dreams come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” We’ve all heard that courage is not the absence of fear: courage is striving for your goals in spite of your fear. If you didn’t have fear, then courage wouldn’t even be necessary! Having fear is natural, but putting your fear “in its place” is crucial because your attitude toward fear affects all of your decisions for your life. You have two choices:
- You can choose to love your life enough to go after your goals in spite of your fears OR
- You can choose to turn your back on your goals because of your fear of “what might happen.”
The Danger Of Giving In To Your Fears
When you choose to give in to your fears, you rob yourself of your life and you end up with terrible feelings of self-betrayal, disappointment and despair.
When you allow other people to make you think it is “too selfish” to go after the things you want in life, you allow your fears and insecurities to take over. When you give in to your fears, you give up on your values, your goals and your dreams. You resign yourself to merely reacting to your feelings of the moment, or reacting to whatever other people happen to bring your way. You feel totally inadequate to meet the challenges of life and you feel guilty for betraying what you hold dear.
Avoid The Mistake Of Giving In To Your Fears
You can avoid the mistake of giving in to your fears when you discover a Recipe For Living that doesn’t turn you against yourself. In the pages to come you will discover how to face up to your fears and follow your dreams.