What Is The State Of Your Life Right Now?
Just as our President delivers The State Of The Union address, it’s a good idea for you to periodically address the state of your own life. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see how much you love living your life:
- Do you feel at home with the world, or do you feel uneasy or frightened by the world?
- Do you feel at home with yourself, or do you feel uneasy or at odds with yourself?
- Do you feel at home with others, or do you feel uneasy or anxious around others?
- Do you take yourself seriously, or do you say, ”whatever” and go with the flow?
- What kind of a measuring stick are you using to choose your goals and to guide your everyday life? Are you living by a double standard, using more than one measuring stick, or using one measuring stick for yourself and another measuring stick for others?
- Have you acquired the kinds of character traits you admire? Can you look at yourself in the mirror and smile in approval?
- What kind of a role model are you for the other people in your life, especially your children?
- What is your idea of being a good person? Do you believe that to be good you should forget yourself and do for others, or do you believe that to be good you should be true to yourself and follow your dreams?
- Is your To-Do List a mish-mash of helter-skelter duties, or is it a list of exciting steps toward your most important goals?
These are just some of the questions you can start asking yourself to get at the bottom-line cause of your conflict, confusion, or guilt. How you answer these question depends on your deep-down beliefs. These deep-down beliefs are the “ingredients” for you “Recipe For Living.” It is my goal to help you find a healthy Recipe For Living, so you can go after your goals guilt-free, and love living your life. That’s why I call myself, “Your Recipe For Living Coach.”
Part of what it takes to go after your goals and love living your life is to free yourself from unnecessary conflict and confusion and unearned guilt. The following excerpts are taken from my upcoming book, This Is Your Life: No Apology Needed:
Breaking Free From Conflict
Most working women feel blocked in going after their goals because they suffer from inner conflict. Your conflict comes from two major culprits:
- Your Contradictory Beliefs: Conflict comes from believing in ideas and holding values that are incompatible with each other. For instance, if you value being true to yourself and living up to your full potential – and at the same time you value sacrificing what’s important to you for the sake of others – you will experience painful daily conflict. That’s because you can’t do both. Sacrificing for others makes it impossible to follow your dreams or fulfill your potential.
- Your Unclear Priorities: Conflict also comes from not establishing your priorities with respect to your goals, activities or relationships. When more than one goal, activity or relationship tugs at you at the same time, you can feel paralyzed. If you don’t give each of your goals an “importance” rating you will always have trouble deciding which of your goals to pursue at any given time.
Breaking Free From Confusion
Most working women feel blocked from their goals because they suffer from so much confusion. The problem is not the jumble of conflicting beliefs we are raised with – the problem is that we allow ourselves to accept these beliefs without scrutinizing them for legitimacy or compatibility. As a result, some of our beliefs give us one view of things while our other beliefs give us a totally different view of things.
As children, we had no way to sort out these beliefs in a way that made sense. As adults, we experience the unwelcome consequences of living with our conflicting beliefs. Conflicting beliefs present one stumbling block after another in your path toward your goals. It is critical that you take a good hard look at your beliefs, resolve the beliefs that contradict one another, and then organize your beliefs in a meaningful way.
Breaking Free From The Control Of Others
You can be well on your way to guilt-free living by breaking free from the control of others. Most working women still suffer from the control of others. Control of others can rear its ugly head in two different ways:
- You can allow yourself to control others
- You can allow yourself to be controlled by others
You will want to discover which Recipe For Living asks you to submit to the control of others and which Recipe asks you to take control of others. You will then look at how these two Recipes have influenced your own Recipe For Living and see how to free yourself from having to control or be controlled by others.
Handy Resource: My CD program, 8 Steps For Reclaiming Your Life shows you any easy, fun way to trace your conflicts to their very roots in your bottom-line belief system. You will see how your conflicts come from the incompatible “ingredients” in your Recipe For Living. You will see how you can resolve your conflicts – not by compromise – but by adjusting your Recipe to make all your “ingredients” compatible. You will discover how to eliminate all the unnecessary conflict, confusion and guilt in your life. And you will learn how to handle unavoidable conflict and criticism with ease and good will – so you can go after your goals with full confidence and joy.
In the posts to come, we will be exploring how to break free from your bottom-line source of conflict and confusion so you can feel right about going full-steam ahead after the things you want most for your life. I hope you find this information helpful, and I invite you to share ways you have improved your own Recipe For Living so you can love living your own irreplaceable life.
Terry, Your Recipe For Living Coach
“A healthy Recipe For Living is your most powerful asset, and your greatest charm.”