Raising Children: As a working mom you may view your most important work as raising healthy, happy children. You want to be a great mother to your children. Raising children can be your highest value and your greatest passion.
Work: Your decision to work professionally may stem from a personal desire – or from financial necessity. Either way, your professional work is also a high value. It helps pay for the things you want for yourself and your children. It provides a break from the non-stop job of child rearing. It allows you to be creative and productive, and it brings you into contact with other adult minds. In the true story, Belles On Their Toes, two grown children write how their widowed mother ran her husband’s business while raising twelve children in a most remarkable and creative way.
Personal Goals: You have personal goals that you value highly as well. Health, hobbies, romance, relationships with family and friends, social issues and recreation can be exceedingly important to you. Nurturing and maintaining your own good health makes it possible to pursue your other goals and sets a good example for your children. Having business and personal goals shows your children that you, too, are a person in your own right. Instead of seeing you as just a facilitator for their needs, your children learn to respect you and feel proud that you are their mother.
Conflict and Guilt: How do you do justice to all these values? How do you decide when to do what? How do you choose what is most important at any given time? How do you prevent yourself from allowing other people to make you feel guilty for being a working mom?
To make wise choices and decisions, every human being needs a guide or a set of principles to live by. That’s why philosophies, religions, ethical codes and moralities are born. I call these guides “Recipes For Living.”
We all grow up with some kind of guide passed down to us from our parents, preachers and teachers – and our culture in general. Just listen to the media or the words of the songs people like! You end up with a set of unexamined childhood beliefs that you bring into your adulthood and try to live by. And you, in turn, pass these teachings and preachings on to your own children.
The trouble is, your childhood beliefs are usually a grab-bag of contradictory teachings. This results in a Recipe For Living that is full of incompatible ingredients – which causes you all sorts of conflict, confusion and guilt. Your goals seem to butt heads against each other and your life becomes a series of apologies as you compromise one goal after another.
A healthy Recipe For Living is your greatest asset in life. There are so many do’s and don’ts, so many mixed messages, and so many choices in life. That’s why you need a healthy Recipe For Living – a reliable, non-contradictory way to view the world, yourself and others and a trustworthy guide for making wise everyday decisions for your life.
Most people don’t realize that they can adjust their Recipe – or they don’t know a sensible way to go about doing it.
Buckle your seatbelt! In my CD Program, 8 Steps For Reclaiming Your Life from Conflict, Confusion and the Control of Others, two working women take you through the actual process of uncovering the deep-down beliefs that are the ingredients for your own personal Recipe For Living. You will discover WHAT MAKES YOU TICK for perhaps the very first time! Then you will see how to adjust your Recipe to make it a dependable guide for making wise choices for your life — and how to use your adjusted Recipe in different situations so you can go after your goals guilt free, with full confidence and joy.
My upcoming book, This Is Your Life: No Apology Needed, will show you how to feel more at home with the world, yourself, and others by revising the incompatible ingredients in your Recipe For Living. You will discover how to avoid the MAJOR LIFE-THREATENING MISTAKES working women make, you will see how to HANDLE CRITICISM WITH EASE AND GOOD WILL, and you will gain the confidence to go after your self-chosen goals while helping your children go after theirs.
The resources at Working Woman’s Webquarters are designed to help you build confidence in yourself by discovering the bottom-line keys to success and true happiness. If you need any assistance, I am here for you. Feel free to take advantage of your free half-hour coaching session and other coaching as needed.
The time to stop apologizing and start living is now. Allow yourself to enjoy thinking more clearly – and allow yourself to go after your goals with the enthusiasm and delight of the child that is still inside you.